As someone who grew up deeply religious and who now identifies as not religious at all, Easter can be something of a tricky day. It’s a day that both makes me reflect on how much I have changed in the last 20 years and that reminds me of how wildly different my children’s childhood is to my own. Asking them to explain what Good Friday is or Passover or Palm Sunday is a bit of a theological train wreck. My husband grew up in a religious household and was quite serious about his Catholic faith when he was our son’s age so he also occasionally alarmed by how deeply wrong our kids’ understanding of the Bible is. We both agree that we need to do a better job of teaching them the basics of Christian, Jewish, and Islamic1 faith so they have at least enough cultural literacy to be able to identify which character in some book they’ll read in college is supposed to be the Christ figure2. Ideally they’d someday understand enough to be able to recognize when some awful politician or internet jackass is trying to use Christian faith or teachings to justify something deeply un-Christ like.
Maybe, say, trying to sell USA flag Bibles to pay his mounting legal bills because he’s a sexual predator, liar, and unrepentant fraudster? Hypothetically, of course.
Easter is also interesting to me because I’ve never been totally sure on how much I actually want to do on the day. My kids fully understand Easter as a day with specific candy and would like to get that specific candy, please. In the past, I’ve done Easter baskets or hidden eggs (often in the house because: Minnesota). The last few years, I created scavenger hunts for the kids with clues and hidden candy (and books and socks and fun stuff) that delighted them when they were younger. The last time we did it however, they raced through it in less than five minutes and weren’t especially appreciative of the time and effort it took me to set it up for them. My husband had to remind them to say thank you and what had felt like fun for me the year before suddenly felt more like an obligation.
Here’s the thing: I have several parenting hills I’ll die on. One of them is good manners and being appreciative of the things that other people do for you. Another is that I simply refuse to continue traditions that make me feel unappreciated. All traditions have some level of a work to fun ratio and when the work starts to exceed the fun… I’m out. I want to actually enjoy my holidays and family time and so I’m good with skipping a whole bunch of traditions that simply don’t bring me enough joy.
(An incomplete list: baking sugar cookies at Christmas, doing anything for Valentine’s Day or St. Patrick’s Day, having seasonal decor for any holiday other than Christmas… and, of course, my feelings about Elf on a Shelf are well established).
While this does mean that my kids don’t get to have some of the same experiences their friends might be having, the trade off is that they get a mom who isn’t rolling into any given holiday feeling resentful or exhausted.
The cultural expectations for mom labor around Easter aren’t as intense as they are for Thanksgiving or Christmas, but it still feels like there is some pressure to do something3, even if we aren’t a going to church family. But the more I thought about it this year, the less I could figure out why. I asked my daughter what Easter meant to her and she said “bunnies and chocolate” and when I asked why, she shrugged and wandered away.
She’s nothing if not an eloquent theologian.
So, I’m doing just slightly above nothing this year. I’ll probably get my son a bag of Starburst jelly beans. My daughter wants to try this recipe (and recipe is really too strong a word here) for chocolate croissants made with Cadbury eggs in the middle, so we’ll give that whirl.
And I shall sleep in, peaceful in the knowledge that having a non-grumpy mother is better than any Easter scavenger hunt would be.
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Now, on to some Sunday Suggestions! Here’s a little round-up of some things I thought were interesting, useful, or tasty this week:
In the tasty department, this lemon blueberry pound cake recipe was great. Made it for my husband’s birthday and it was easy and tasty, even if I accidentally overbaked it a touch.
I’m constantly on the hunt for rubber bands for my kids’ braids that don’t break and these from Amazon are the best I’ve found so far. I also appreciate the band ripper for easy removal (a plus when I do 30+ braids per kid head, every two weeks).
Couples who found lasting love via “missed connections” posts. Aww.
The above article references this story from Colman Domingo and it is worth the two minutes to watch it
This Reddit thread on colleges with the worst names made me laugh. It also made me want to have a moment of silence for the former Beaver College (now known as the much less entertaining Arcadia University)
I’d recommend the new Beyoncé album but, duh, everyone is already recommending that one because it is TERRIFIC.
I didn’t expect an article about the problem of men NOT masturbating to be so interesting, but it was.
As at least a starting point
There is always at least some book in college with a character who is supposed to be a Christ figure, right?
I’m just going to say it: some people’s Easter baskets are entirely out of hand. I know people who are spending hundreds of dollars on Easter baskets, like it is spring Christmas or something. I reject this. Candy and some fun small things ONLY.
Our middle school’s mascot is the Beaver. The Beavers! Middle school! Who thought this was a good idea??
Amen! Manners and gratitude are essential. So thank you, and I'm grateful for your honesty.