How To Be The Fattest Friend

and feel good about it

For many of my friends, I am their fattest friend.

For some of my friends, I suspect my body is a source of some level of cognitive dissonance. They love me. They think I'm great and beautiful and athletic. But my body is their worst-case scenario. They would never shame me for my size, but they'd be absolutely vicious to themselves if they ever got to w…